An ode to my Dad on his 65th birthday

Once my Dad's squadron was having a picnic. It was supposed to rain, but the commander said that the picnic would go on, and anyone holding an umbrella should also be wearing a skirt. My Dad borrowed one from my Mom, and wore it.

My Dad ran the Marine Cops Marathon. He ate a lot of bananas that year, as I recall.

My Dad used to make up ridiculous challenges, and bet me I couldn't do them, like shooting the springy part from the tp holder clear across the room, or whistling Yankee doodle after eating crackers.

My Dad didn't kill me on numerous occasions when I likely deserved it, including walking on the freshly stained bunk bed that he was building, and running my car into things.

My Dad didn't curse a lot, while we were growing up, unless he was installing a kitchen appliance. We called cursing "microwave words."

My Dad and I race every year, when we go skiing. Sometimes, I let him win. Sometimes he lets me win.

My Dad rode with a carpool when he was working at the Pentagon, and used to tell us a different joke he heard there every night at dinner.

My Dad rotates his sprinkler with scientific regularity. His yard is the greenest patch of the county.

My Dad cried when our dog, Sarah, got hit by a car.

My Dad was a pilot of MC-130s, and still can tell the difference between a B-1 and a F-15 from miles away.

My Dad takes care of his Mom. He has coffee with her every day.

My Dad knows all of the verses to songs you've never even heard of.

My Dad has a magic word that he can shout out the window of his truck, and his horses will run in from the farthest fields. He learned it from his dad.

My Dad has a secret story about beating the Nimitz, but still likes my husband, who was in the Navy.

My Dad is an awesome grandpa. He has patience with toddlers that is unreal!

My Dad terrified all of my high school boyfriends.

My Dad built a Koi pond in his yard, plants sweet potatoes because my mom thinks they're pretty, and is growing grapes for me to make wine with.

My Dad bought me my first car, and taught me how to fix it.

My Dad brought me pizza to the hospital and almost walked in to the delivery room while I was giving birth to my daughter.

My Dad is the king of bad jokes and terrible puns. One day I hope to be half as great at it.

My Dad let my daughter drive everywhere the summer she got her learners permit.

My Dad has a great garden, and used to feed carrots to his dogs.

My Dad drives the school bus, and the children give him presents.

My Dad loves my Mom, and they still hold hands.

My Dad is 65 years old today! Happy birthday, Dad! I love you!